Being naked with someone is not an easy thing to do because they get to see you.
All of you.
Beyond the pretty face, they get to the bumps, bruises and scars. For every perfection, there is another imperfection to match it. And because of this, sometimes a person can be afraid to get naked in front of someone else...because there are too many glaring imperfections.
A couple of weeks back, I had the chance to hear someone talk about how in a way, when you open yourself up to someone, it's like you're being naked with them because then they get to see your hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities. And that can be just as difficult to show someone, just as a naked body would be.
As for me, I haven't done much of either. Being a (relative) virgin by choice, by religion, and through insanity, I've survived this far without sexual relations in spite of comments from my peers that I should be done with it already. The thing is though, despite my hormones raging against me and temptations all around, I would like to lose my virginity on my terms, and no one else's, which means that I'd like my first experience to be with someone whom I love and trust, and hopefully the feeling would be mutual between us.
Something that's been harder for me to do than to lose my virginity, is to be really comfortable and open up to someone. To tell someone about my feelings, good or bad, about my hopes of becoming a photographer or teacher and yet let them know about my doubts and fears about my abilities to do well in those careers. It's hard for me to tell someone about how I worry about my others and how my inability to support them now gnaws at me constantly, and yet I want to be able to tell someone that. I want to confess to someone that I really don't know what love is but I'd want to know, and that at the same time I'm weary and intrigued at the possibility of getting into a relationship with someone, anyone. Not for experience, but because I like that person and could see myself with that person for a long time.
I want to say this and a lot more, and it feels like I'm bursting at my seams to not just talk to someone, to be naked with someone, someone I trust and love.
That's all anyone needs really, whether they're exposing their body or their soul. We all need someone by our side that we know we can love and trust to help us every step of the way.
http://www.myspace.com/msun/blog/203541459
